ananzi: (little girl)
I'm going to Wisconsin in a week or two and it's exciting but also a little bit scary.

I'll be working on a farm-type thing? That's also a spiritual/artistic center, with its annual meeting in October? They grow grapes for wine and have a garden.

The main thing making me nervous is that I should be there for two months (maybe more), and most of it will just be me and the institute's founder. I hope that we'll get along well. My S.O.'s aunt (who is wonderful) is the one who put us in contact, though, and I trust her.
ananzi: (little girl)
I passed my undergraduate baccalaureate examination/thesis defense yesterday! It wasn't bad at all, and could've been even better if I had more time to study the pertinent Physics.

This means that:
A) I'm graduating!
B) More free time! I got to play Ultimate Frisbee yesterday, and will probably get to do it again next week. I saw Iron Man 3 last night. I hope to play Bioshock Infinite soon. And do karaoke with a few of my friends. And bake cake/cookies with the newly formed Asexual group at my school. By finals/graduation week, I'm entirely done with schoolwork, which is nice. A friend who graduated two years ago will also be visiting.

There's less free time than I think, though, because I'm finally applying for jobs. I already have something (Duke TIP Robotics TA) lined up for the summer, but I need things to do after that. On the plus side, I've found a few things that I might be interested in doing. Also: My friend L. has already said that I can work on his wife's farm in Virginia for a month or two and any point in time if I want to. That gives me a temporary fallback if I have nothing, and a potentially fun thing to do otherwise.

Should probably think more about what/if graduate school, and whatnot, but I don't know what I want to do with myself yet. Rochester Institute of Technology's Imaging Sciences program sounds intriguing, but it's the only one of its type.

Not sure yet what will happen with C. We're staying together after graduation, but it seems likely that we'll end up going our separate ways if we end up heading in different directions or being in different geographical locations. That makes me sad to think about, but I tell myself that it'll be okay - and it probably will be.

Usually the future is scary, but at this moment in time, things feel okay.
ananzi: (man and goat statue)
Recently I've had REU stuff on my mind a lot...even though my chances for getting one are supposedly at least reasonable, I'm not convinced that any of them will take me. I reapplied to work at Duke TIP today, although I mentioned that I would prefer being a TA over an RC this year. I'd definitely be happy to work for them again, and the main reason I can think of for them potentially not taking me back is if most of the positions are already filled. It's best to put in an application by January or February, but I was afraid of getting an offer and being put in the position of not knowing whether or not I should accept it - as much as I like TIP, I'd take almost any research internship over it.

Sorry, anyone who reads this. I don't want to be a huge complainer; I just feel a little bit anxious and a little bit inadequate right now. Also, I'd rather prepare myself for the worst so that I'll be okay if I end up working at home over the summer or excited if some program does accept me.

Edit: Also, I just received an email from one of the programs to which I applied telling me that I wasn't considered for their program because my application package was incomplete. I have the sinking suspicion that one of my recommenders didn't send in a letter and hope that it's a one-time fluke rather than a common trend. :(

In other news, I'm behind in several of my classes (not so great), although I think I'm doing okay in Statistical Mechanics (good). Also, I have a big musical performance thing tonight at 8 that incorporates the ensemble I'm in along with a few other groups, so that should be exciting. Still need to figure out what I'm wearing, because clothing is hard and I'm not very good at it.

Also! I've totally been enjoying myself in Goju recently, fencing is good (although our coach might be leaving us?), and I finally went to frisbee last Sunday - it was fun! So I'm at least not sitting in my room all the time.

And did I ever post about how C's aunt and sister came down to visit him a few weeks ago? That was cool. They took me to a play (Once in a Lifetime - it was pretty funny) and then back to their hotel room afterwards to talk and eat brownies. We also cooked pasta and vegetables (that his aunt got from the farmer's market) together for dinner the next night, which was fun and tasty. I felt very honored to be included in some of their family activities and was relieved to find that talking to them felt fairly natural.,

And there was karaoke last night with two of my roommates and our fencing coach, his treat. In such a small group, I sang a lot more than I have at karaoke in the past. I like singing, but am a little bit more shy and definitely less pushy than a lot of my friends. That was fun too.

Tl;dr - I'm a little bit stressed, but there's a lot of good stuff in my life too. Sometimes it's important to maintain perspective.

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Emily

December 2016

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